Speed Dating & Monster Slaying

                                                                                               

                                        Chapter One

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         Brie was swooning. Never mind the fact that it was over a fictional man. He was absolutely perfect. Besides the fact that he was fictional. Oh wait, we weren’t minding that part. We were never minding it, to be exact. So let me rephrase.

         Brie was swooning over the perfect man. How was he perfect, you ask? He was fictional, of course. Okay, so it seems that I’m not very good at this. But what real man is perfect, really? Brie had every right to swoon over this and any fictional man she ever read about. And you have no right to judge her for it. Because you too, would swoon over this fictional man. That is of course, as long as you like men.

         “Why are you reading?” Brie’s friend, Erica, whispered to her. Except that it was a harsh whisper, like you could tell that Erica thought raising her voice was the appropriate way to ask this particular question, but knew it was not the appropriate place for it.

           Brie looked at her with a twist in her eyebrows. “What do you mean why am I reading? Why shouldn’t I be reading?”

           “We’re at a speed dating lunch, Brie!” Another harsh whisper.

           “Yes, but it hasn’t started yet.”

           “But it looks awkward.”

            “More awkward than all the other people on their phones?” Brie countered.

            Erica looked around at all the guests, waiting patiently for the other side of the speed dating event to come into the room, and they were all on their phones. Every single one of them.

          “I don’t know, but no one else is reading a book,” Erica finally said. “It just seems like a weird place to whip out a hardcover, I don’t know. But you’re right. It’s the same as everyone on their phones.”

            “I’d argue that it’s better.”

            Erica smiled, and then the door to front of the café opened and twenty-two men stepped inside.

 

 

                                       

                                          Chapter Two

 

          “I’m actually not sure that I want to do this,” Erica said after taking a deep breath.

          “Excuse me? You’re the one who begged me to come to this with you.” Brie rolled her eyes and almost got up from her chair, but the host of the event started talking and Brie didn’t want to be the center of attention.

          “Welcome, everyone!” the host said with a smile. “We have a great afternoon lined up for you all!”

          Brie tried to listen about how the speed dating thing was supposed to work, but her book was just getting good. She hid it under the table on her lap, but couldn’t help peeking down at it to see how the story continued.

          Theodore swings the heavy blade at the creature before I get a chance to attack it myself. I did think I had the situation under control, but now that I see him going after it, I realize I made a grave mistake coming out here on my own. He shouts as he swings the sword again, and this time it slices clean through the creature’s neck, slicing its head off in one motion. It lands on the ground with a wet thunk and I can’t help but stare at its headless body now lying in a pool of its own blood.

          “Brie,” he says to me, pulling me from a –

           Wait a second, the main character’s name in this book wasn’t Brie, was it? Brie flipped to the front of the hardcover, where the blurb should be on the inside flap, only to realize she had taken the dust jacket off at home. She sighed and went back a few pages to find another mention of the main character. It was written in the first person, so her name didn’t come up that often. She scanned the pages for some dialogue, sure her name would be within a pair of quotation marks somewhere.

            “Brie, pay attention,” Erica whispered.

            Brie looked up at her and winced a little at her own lack of support for her friend. “Sorry,” she said.

           But the host of the event was still talking and the group of men were still standing in a row along the back wall. Ugh, this was so awkward. If only she had this book on her phone. No one would suspect anything if she was looking at her phone.

            “Do you think I have time to go to the bathroom?” Brie whispered over to Erica.

            “Maybe if you hurry?”

            “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

 

           Brie had no idea what was wrong with her. Why was she kind of bailing on this speed date just to look up the name of the main character in the book she was reading? This was ridiculous. Erica was her best friend and she wanted her there for moral support and instead she was hiding in a toilet stall flipping through pages of a fantasy book. This wasn’t like her at all.

          But there was something about this book. She had been transported into different worlds many times before while reading, but never had she felt like she was the main character. And I know what you’re going to say, and so does Brie, to which we both say ‘It’s not like that’. We both know – well okay, I know; Brie doesn’t know I’m telling this story, but if she did, she would agree with me – you think that you’ve felt like you were the main character of a book before, and she isn’t experiencing anything unique. And I say again, it’s not like that. Brie literally felt as if she was in the story. She was there in the magical world, covered in dirt and blood, and out of breath and feeling like she was going to faint because she was staring at a headless monster. She was staring at a monster that was slain by Theodore, the mysterious and handsome man who just came to town who she has now discovered is a very good monster slayer. Perhaps that was his job.

       “Are you a monster slayer?” I ask, my gaze finding his. His callused hand cups my chin, tilting my face up towards his. I thought I was having trouble catching my breath before, but now I’m not sure I even remember what it means to breathe.

         “Are you alright?” he asks.

         “I- I think so,” I stammer. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

         “No one ever does.” His hand moves from my chin to my elbow and he helps me to my feet. He is much taller than I am and I sort of want to fall forward into his broad chest. He just came over here and saved my life like it was nothing.

         “Have you done this before?” I ask, letting him guide me down the muddy path.

          He chuckles and puts a hand around my waist. “You ask a lot of questions.”

          “Because you don’t answer them.”

         He stops walking but doesn’t let go of me. I grip his armour around his back so I don’t slip, and look up at him standing beside me. He looks down into my eyes and smiles just slightly. “I have slain monsters before but I’m not sure I would call myself a monster slayer.”

         “Oh,” is all I can manage to say.

         “Do you normally go out at night alone when you know there are monsters around?”

         “No. But I had to,” I say.

         "Ah.” He continues walking and I almost slip but he holds my weight before I topple back. The road is slick and steep so we take small careful steps towards the town gates at the bottom.

          “I have to get my sister back.”

          “Your sister is not up there, Brie,” he says to me.

          “How do you know my name?”

           “I’ve seen you.”

           My heart starts to flutter in my chest. “You’ve seen me?” This fills me with delight because I’ve seen him as well. But I never thought that he had also seen me. I’m just a town girl, a young woman with nothing to offer. But he is strong, and handsome, and brave, and I know I’m not the only one who’s noticed him since his arrival.

           I feel him shrug against me. “You are everywhere,” he says.

          “Everywhere?”

          “I see you in the book shop, and in the pub. I see you walking with your sister, and I see you tending to the horses. It’s hard not to see a woman like you.”

          “It is?” I feel like I’m going to faint.

          “Your smile is so bright, especially when you’re with your sister, or when you are helping someone pick out a new book. You are passionate about these things and I see it easily in you.”

          “That’s a very nice thing to say.”

          “It’s the truth.”

          Before long I realize that he has been leading me to my home. We stop in front of the garden that surrounds the small house and he takes his hand from my waist.

          “I do not want to make you feel uncomfortable,” he says, “but I think that it would be best if I came inside and made sure you were okay.”

          “Oh?”

          “You are still shaken up; I can feel you trembling beneath my fingers.”

              

         “I would like to tremble beneath your fingers,” Brie said out loud, and then immediately clapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh my god. I didn’t just say that.” She looked around the stall and creaked the door open. How long had she been reading? She walked carefully to the door of the bathroom and listened to see if she had missed the start, or even the middle, of the speed dating event. But the host was still talking! Was she rambling for too long, or had Brie only been reading for a minute? It felt like longer, it felt like she had been there with Theodore for at least an hour. But that’s what reading does, right? It transports you completely.

           I suppose it does. But not like this.

 

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                                       Chapter Three

 

           The book was in Brie’s left hand, her thumb between the pages to keep her place. She didn’t think anyone would come in here during the speed date info session, so she leaned against the counter and kept reading.

           I let Theodore help me up the steps to my little house and I watch as he takes off his boots. I take mine off as well, but it doesn’t matter – we’re both covered in mud. I try my best not to track it through the main room to the back where the washing room is, but I can feel it squishing between my toes and leaving trails behind me. Theodore waits outside while I wash up and change my clothes, and then he helps me to bed.

           “You can wash too,” I say to him.

            “Nonsense. I can do that at the inn.”

            “Thank you for saving me,” I whisper, sleep trying to take me before I’m ready.

            “I will do everything in my power to save you every time.”

             I smile, and feel myself falling asleep before I can ask him if he will help me find my sister.

              

          When I wake in the morning, I notice that any mud we tracked in has been cleaned up, and my clothes and boots have also been washed. I pad towards the door where I find a note tacked to the wood.

           ‘Meet me at the pub before nightfall. I will help you find Gracey’

           How does he know my sister’s name?

 

          I dress in my leather jacket and dark pants with leather thigh patches. I lace up my boots and pull on my gloves before fastening my cloak around my shoulders. I step into the cool evening, the sun just beginning to set over the hill.

         There is dew on the grass as if it is early morning, and mist hugs the ground, swirling as I step through it on my way to the pub. The orange light from the sun is fading quickly but the sky is still bright enough that I am not afraid to be on my own. I wasn’t afraid to be on my own last night, but since I almost got myself killed, I feel differently about it now.

         Pulling the hood from my face, I step into the pub. It’s warm in here, and the sound of everyone laughing and drinking makes me feel at home. But then I remember why I’m here, and that feeling drops away. I see Theodore almost immediately, and he nods at me in acknowledgment. I feel sort of invisible in these clothes, and when I walk over to him, I imagine that I’m gliding. I sit down next to him and he slides a glass mug filled with frothy beer over to me.

          “Thank you,” I say, taking a sip of the ale.

          “It’s nothing.”

           I take another sip and watch as he drinks from his own.

          “I know where your sister is,” he whispers. “But getting her won’t be easy.”

          “I am prepared to do whatever it takes to save her.”

          “And I you.”

          I feel my heart quicken in my chest and I close my eyes for a moment before nodding.

          “Can you use a sword?” he asks.

          “I have used a sword, but I have never been properly trained.”

          “Then I will train you.”

          “There’s no time,” I say quickly.

          “There is. We have until the full moon, which isn’t for another fortnight.”

          “But I can’t just leave my sister out there alone and in danger while I stay here and play with swords!”

          “She’s not in danger until the full moon, and it’s not playing. You need to know how to wield a sword properly if we are to get her home alive.”

          I swallow and nod. “Very well.”

         “We start in the morning. Get some rest.”

 

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                                      Chapter Four

 

          Theodore is gentle when he shows me how to stand. His hands on my hips, on my elbows, wrists, are soft as a feather. He uses his whole body to move mine, instead of a force in his muscles or a grip that’s too tight. We move together, breathe together. It’s like a dance. But when he shows me how to attack, when he tells me to attack him, he doesn’t hold back. He slashes my sword from my hands and charges at me with his own. But he stops before he hits me, and tells me to try again. He throws me onto my back and directs me how to move so that I can flip us both over and get the advantage on him instead. He smiles up at me when I do it, and I almost melt right there, almost unable to move or find the strength to continue.

When we are done each training session, we take turns cooking our meals, and we eat together, talking about how can I improve, and ideas on which routes to take to get to Gracey. Sometimes Theodore sleeps at the inn, and sometimes, when he is too tired to walk, he sleeps in Gracey’s bed while I sleep in mine. Although I do wish he would sleep in my bed with me.

          Despite the reasons for our being together, I enjoy our time training, and I enjoy getting to know him better. I always try to make him laugh every day. Seeing his smile reach his eyes fills my chest with light, and hearing his laughter makes me laugh. And I haven’t laughed since my sister was taken. Not until now.

           We train in the sun, and in the rain, we train until the moon has been high in the sky for hours. We train until I am out of breath and shaking. We train until my muscles feel tighter, and my body feels stronger.

           He puts his hands on my hips one night and guides me closer to him. I know that we are training to save my sister but I cannot stop thinking about him. About his hands on my hips. About his lips. They are so full and smooth, and I want them on my own. I finally take in a deep breath and rest my hands on his. I step in closer to him and move my hands to his upper arms, then his shoulders. Is this something that he wants me to do? He is so tall; if I am to kiss him, I will have to stand on my toes.

          “I think you are ready,” he says to me.

          “I feel ready,” I answer.

          He looks up at the sky, his hands still on my hips. “We have another night yet, before we need to set off.”

          “Whatever will we do?”

          His eyes find mine, and his smile reaches his eyes. “What would you like to do?”

         I know he’s waiting for me to kiss him, and a part of me hates him for it. I want him to kiss me, but in the end, it doesn’t matter who goes in first, because I will hate myself if I don’t let it happen. So I stand on my toes and press my mouth to his. He kisses me back and pulls me closer to his body, pressing me against him. I can’t believe we have been training for almost a fortnight, tangling our bodies together and being so close to taste each other’s breath and we are only just now kissing. He opens his mouth against mine and I run my hands through his thick hair. I am already weak from training, but this, tonight, I think I can find the strength for.

 

          I wake in the morning to the comfort of him still in my bed, his arms wrapped around me, the blanket by our feet. I snuggle into the space between his chest and his shoulder, and he sighs and holds me tighter.

          “We’ll get through this, right?” I ask, just above a whisper.

          “We’ll get through this,” he says confidently.

 

 

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                                        Chapter Five

 

          Microphone feedback suddenly pulled Brie from the story and she gasped, looking around. She was still in the bathroom of the café. But her book was almost done. She flipped through the remaining pages to estimate that she only had about eighty pages left. How did she read most of this 400 page book before the speed dating even started? Was time standing still? Was she actually in this book, living it as if she had been the one training to fight an evil entity who had kidnapped her sister? It all felt so real. So real, that the bathroom she was currently in felt like the fantasy. The laughter outside the door felt fake. Erica calling her name felt fake.

          Wait, Erica was calling her name!

          She barged through the door and put her hands on her hips as soon as she saw Brie sitting on the counter with a book in her lap.

          “What are you doing?” Erica asked, a panicked shrill in her voice.

          “I don’t know! I swear I don’t know! I just read this entire book basically, but the thing hasn’t even started yet.” And it was then that Brie realized maybe she was in the washroom reading while the speed date was happening and she actually missed the whole thing. “It… it hasn’t started yet… right?”

          “No, but it’s starting in literally two minutes, so come on!”

          Brie didn’t know where her bookmark was, so she dog eared the page she was on and hopped off the counter. “I’m coming.”

          Brie followed her friend back into the café and they took their seats next to each other, waiting for twenty-two different men to talk to them for five minutes each. As if Erica thought this would be fun. This was going to be horrible.

          “So you were just in the bathroom reading?” Erica asked.

          “It’s so weird. I don’t understand what happened, but it was like I was there, Erica! It was incredible.”

          “Yeah, I love it when books do that.”

          “No, you don’t understand. I was… I feel like I could hold my own with a sword.”

          “What?”

          But Brie couldn’t explain to her friend that she was inside the book, that she was the one learning how to fight with Theodore, that she was the one who fell in love with him. And it wasn’t that she couldn’t explain it because she felt that Erica wouldn’t believe her, it was because the first bell rang, signalling the start of the speed dating.

          Brie sighed, preparing herself for small talk with the first man, when her breath caught in her chest. The man who sat down in front of her looked just like Theodore from her book. His hair was shorter and cleaner, and he was wearing modern clothes, but the resemblance was strangely comforting. She somehow felt like she already knew this man from another life. Like she read about him in a book or something...

          “Hi,” he said, and his voice was delightful. “I’m Ted.”

          “Ted,” Brie said with a smile. “Reminds me of someone I used to know.”

          “In a good way, I hope.”

          “Definitely in a good way.”

          Ted smirked and Brie felt the need to reach across the table and grab his hand. But before she did, Ted eyed her book on the table between them.

          “What are you reading?” he asked.

          “Oh, it’s just a magical book with swords and monsters and love.”

          “Sounds great. It’s gotta be hard doing this when you’re that close to the end. Aren’t you anxious to know what happens?”

          Brie glanced down at the book with a grin, and then looked up at Ted and shrugged. “I’m sure everything works out.”

           Ted smiled at her, and it fully reached his eyes.

 

                                                                                                   

                                                                                                    The end